Back home we used to feel "ooh" that guy settled in The US, he is minting money. She got to travel and visit. There was this hype of visiting or settling in The United States of America.
Since childhood I knew I would love to visit but I never wanted to live there forever.
Now that I am here I can see my friends and family envy me being in US. Everyone asks me hows life there with loads of expectations and all I end up saying is "it's all same". Am I earning good perhaps yes if I convert the currencies but otherwise it's same as the life style I had back in my own country. In fact I ended up living alone far from family and friends, however much it felt good initially there are times it gets me and makes me very very sad, lonely and nostalgic. :)
While I am busy here earning my livelihood which is nothing great, life moves on back home. Births, Weddings, Deaths, Festivals, new trends, graduations. Moments which happen once in life time.
Thanks to technology I can keep in touch with them, do Skype calls and Watsapp and international calls but its not same as hugging them, holding hands, sleeping in the laps of grandmother, crying and laughing out over a cup of coffee with friends, being there with them.
I would admit there are some comforts like less crowded grocery stores, cleaner air to breath and wider roads to travel on; and for some perhaps its the freedom from the cultural prejudices, freedom to dress and act different from the society back home. But for me I am set in my ways and what I am today is very much chiseled and sculpted by my country's culture and values of society when I was growing up back home. I can deviate a bit here and there, accept things and ways of new country but still deep inside I am me (the one chiseled and sculpted by my country, culture, values and society).
I miss the weather, food, friends, family and festivities, the time back home. Miss being that younger me in that all (culture and festivities). I miss Makarashankarati, Gudi Padva, Ugadi, Pongal, Holi, Baisakhi, Haldi Kumkum, Ayudha Puja, Navratri, Durga Puja, Dasara, Diwali, Indian version of Christmas and New years, list is endless. I miss the festivity that start way before actual festival time and lingere in air long after. Those sweets, twinkling lights, fire crackers, kites, pujas, temple visits, Diyas, Rangolis, Ethinic Days in office and society decorations even if you didn't do anything, inadvertently you become part of it all.
I miss Indian Cinema, there, it was all around you; you know what's new coming up in market, new trends in Fashion and things, but here you really need to keep up with things happening back home, many people are able to do it but I don't know how to do it myself (being a loner). Back home it was easy like breathing because it was all around you.
I miss knowing my people, the culture, sand, water, earth, trees, animals, birds.
Here days come and go, festivals like Halloween, Thanks Giving, Christmas and New Years however amusing they are ... they make me feel lost and lonely as my roots belong some where else. They don't feel the same, I haven't been able to connect to it yet.
I miss everything that is good back home and I haven't reached to the conclusion if Trade -Off is worth or not but at this time of Diwali festivities I want to wish you all a Very Very Happy Diwali.
I would be in full day office training on Diwali day and the Day after (Gujarati New year), do remember me in your festivities and enjoy on my behalf.
HAPPY DIWALI and HAPPY GUJARATI NEW YEAR. :)
PS: I agree being happy is in my hands no-matter where I am but I guess I am allowed to miss home.
Miss you all !!!
:)
